plushies

i am sitting in the bathroom wounded because its the only place i can be alone and cry without being noticed. my relationship has been on the rocks at best recently. i think i was just told the nail in the coffin. it wasnt direct. she tried to gaslight me and say that a certain plushie we have is mine- a fuzzy duck with a hat that she bought for easter because she didnt like any of the sanrio plushies at walmart. i got a pompompurin, she got the duck. i was noticeably upset, especially when she bluntly stated that she isnt attached to it, or any other plushie we have. even the ones we got together. even the ones she found on tiktok and said she wanted and i went out to buy as a surprise gift for her. the only ones she is attached to are the ones she bought herself. theyre just plushies, why am i so upset and defensive? she asks. why am i so upset, that these items that weve built up over our lives together are suddenly meaningless? should i just throw them out now, since theres no attachment? or will that be seen as my throwing a tantrum? maybe it IS throwing a tantrum but if youre leaving me and you dont want to see them then why should I want to see them? why did you not think that would hurt me? or do you just not care if you do hurt me? maybe i just know what the plushies must be feeling right now, to hear that suddenly out of the blue they arent cared about. maybe im just a plushie too.