Step 1: Acquire a good number of eggs- I take three, a bagel, your preferred cheese (I like provolone bc it fits the bagel perfectly). I also use cream cheese, today's is a honey pecan one.
Step 2: Pan on stove. Heat it up- I set it to max for this step. Add butter/oil/nothing/whatever to your taste. IMO less is better than more.
Step 3: Cracks eggs into pan.
Step 4: Put bagel into toaster, toast to your preferred crispness. I like a golden brown without a lot a crunch.
Step 5: Bagel is done, grab it while it's hot, throw down your cheese so it melts, spread the cream che- hey wait what's that smell over there? OH FUCK OH SHIT YOU FORGOT TO TURN THE HEAT DOWN ON THE PAN YOUR EGGS ARE BURNING HOW COULD YOU LET THIS HAPPEN FUUUCK
6: RIP THE PAN OFF THE BURNER, SCRAPE THE EGGS UP AND FLIP AND CHECK THE DAMAGE
Step 7: Okay it's not that bad. Uhhh season the eggs, cover it up, that'll work, yeahhhh. Salt. Pepper. Maybe add a lil more cream cheese to that bagel.
Step 8: Keep the eggs on the hot hot pan until the eggs are cooked enough to not explode on your sandwich. Just make sure it won't burn on both sides. Oh yeah, also shut that burner off you moron.
Step 9: Place egg on cheesey bagel, wait a couple minutes for it to cool, and enjoy. And ignore those burny bits, they just add character to the meal. Maybe next time pay more attention, m'kay?