I love film. I like to watch movies. I like to review movies I've watched.
Jump to OldestChristopher Nolan's Homer's Odysseus' The Odyssey (2026)
Another Nolan banger. He doesn't reinvent the wheel or try to subvert anything, a-la The Green Knight (2021) (my beloved), he celebrates the story for what it is while also adding some modern interpretations to it. I won't go too deep on any plot stuff because it is basically what I remember from highschool english class. But he puts some curve to it, like this being a pretty feminist interpretation of the story. And also of course driving home to point of "war bad". Did you know that? Did you know that war bad? Did you?There is some pretty incredible filmmaking in this film. All the on-location shots are beautiful and the practical effects, while sometimes noticeable, never ever take away from the experience. Oftentimes they actively improve it, especially where the movie leans horror. The scene with Circe is definitely the standout there for me, but traveling through the stormy sea- even though I had to look away eventually because of the flashing lights- was a close second, I felt like I was about to shipwreck in a storm. There isn't much to say about it other than that you have to see it. Preferably in IMAX, since the movie was shot entirely on IMAX. Legitimately, this is a movie that I will recommend on visuals alone, everything else is good enough to hold it together and make a great viewing experience. With that being said...
There were more than a few times while watching that I thought to myself "I wish I was watching Robert Egger's Homer's Odysseus' The Odyssey." So many times in conversation or in simple scenes the film will just cut cut cut and rush through, and then slow down and sit with long shots of the location. That probably distracted me more than anything. There were a couple of scenes with Tom Holland talking to Anne Hathaway where I got whiplash from the amount of cuts. And most of the time the language used feels fitting but sometimes it really just feels like a modern day actor is speaking which was funny. But when the movie is going, it's easy to fall in line with it. I feel like there's another half hour that Nolan desperately wanted to include in here, but couldn't. This one isn't a neg on the movie, but I feel like with a cast as stacked as this, there should have been some incredible acting moments but, in my opinion, there aren't. Everyone's just good, with Anne Hathaway as a standout.
I promise I like this movie and it's very good, but when it's just such a blanket "good", some things stand out to me that I wish were better. Like how even in IMAX blasting bass so loud that it shook my seat there was still dialogue I couldn't hear very well. But I recommend The Odyssey, especially in IMAX.
The Perks of Being a Wallflower (2012)
Despite not being one of my favorite movies, probably, Perks is a movie that has had and continues to have a profound effect on me. It is the rare movie that I've seen, immediately picked up the book for, then went back and bought the DVD, then searched out the deleted scene that wasn't on the DVD release I bought. I watched it past bedtime on a schoolnight in a dark, shared room on a portable DVD player with skullcandy headphones on. I was told to watch it by a girl that I liked so I checked it out from the library. I cried myself to sleep that night. I feigned toughness when she asked me how I liked it, because I'm a highschool boy and we don't cry at something like a movie. That same girl wanted to watch it with me on Christmas this past year, while we lived together isolated from the rest of the world. She was mad at me because I snapped that her, saying I couldn't talk during the movie. She was mad that, despite my warnings, this movie that she asked me to watch over a decade before still profoundly affected me.The story follows Charlie (played by Logan Lerman), a depressed kid who is starting high school without any friends, because his only friend committed suicide the previous year. He goes a while without making friends, until a chance encounter while looking for a seat at a football game has him befriend Patrick (played by Ezra Miller), a senior who is the class clown in his woodshop elective. He also meets Patrick's stepsister Sam (Emma Watson), also a senior, and immediately is infatuated with her. He becomes genuine friends with them both and even their senior friend group. Sam- who has a boyfriend- and Charlie become closer, Charlie tells her that he's never been kissed, and she kisses him. Later, after filling in for Sam's boyfriend in a Rocky Horror Picture Show performance, another girl in the friend group named Mary Elizabeth asks him out and they date. Then at another group party, Charlie is dared to kiss the prettiest girl in the room and kisses Sam, in front of his now girlfriend, upsetting them both. He is basically kicked out the group, until one day Patrick gets into a fight with his secret gay boyfriend on the football team, where multiple football players beat the shit out of him. Charlie fights back in defense of Patrick, and the two become friends again, leading to Charlie and Sam also reconnecting. With the schoolyear ending now, Sam and Patrick go away for college and Charlie's mental state worsens. Things happen that I won't spoil, but it ends with he, Patrick, and Sam again going through the tunnel from earlier in the movie, listening to David Bowie's "Heroes" and Charlie writes that in that moment "we are infinite."
The film was written and directed by the author of the book, and they go hand-in-hand as companion pieces. They compliment each other incredibly well. The movie resonated a lot with the youth when it released and basically became the face of "tumblr" aesthetics, especially where movies were concerned. So yes, it is cringe in that way. While not criticized, it is also not particularly regarded for its filmmaking. Mostly just for the actor's ability to bring the characters and story to life. But it still carries that emotional weight that I'm not sure I'll ever be able to shake. Even if it's to the detriment of someone wanting to watch it with me and banter.
I Saw the TV Glow (2024)
I gotta get this out of the way before I start gushing grannies- I'm Justice Smith's biggest hater. I tend to think he actively makes movies worse. I also tend to just not like movies he's in. Before this film, I thought his best role was in the Dungeons and Dragons movie, and even then I thought anybody else would have done the role better. With that out of the way; Jane Schoenbrun’s I Saw the TV Glow has crept its way into being probably one of my top 10 movies of all time. I love it. Maybe there is something gay about me, who knows. This movie was made by a trans director to be about the trans experience, about being uncomfortable in your body and becoming someone that you really aren't. But that theme hits so true that upon watching you might not even realize the trans allegory- if you have ever wondered if the you that you are now was the you that you're supposed to be (try reading that three times fast), I think you'll feel something watching this. I watched this alone, late at night after a fight with my girlfriend. If I was a person that allowed myself to cry, I might have as it ended. Still I couldn't help this strange feeling in my chest.Spoilers for the plot of movie, which you should watch- it is free on youtube RIGHT NOW. Even after reading this you should watch to experience it. The movie follows Owen, a child who meets a girl, Maddy, at some school something or other and they bond over a show called The Pink Opaque. Owen isn't actually allowed to watch the show as it airs because it's past his bedtime, so he makes plans with Maddy to sneak to her home to watch it with her. He gets to see what her life is like and why she uses the show as an escape. Some time later, after watching an episode, Maddy tells Owen that she plans to run away and that he should go with her. He's scared, and doesn't. Maddy runs away and the show is cancelled. Time skip 10 years later, Maddy comes back and finds Owen and she tells him that she has been living in the show, and that the two main girls of the show are the real Maddy and Owen, who have been trapped in this world by the antagonist. To get into the show, into their real lives according to Maddy, Owen needs to be buried alive. He's scared, and runs away. Eventually, Owen finds The Pink Opaque on streaming and watches it, seeing it is just a children's show with very little resemblance to what he watched with Maddy. After another time skip, we see a middle-aged Owen still working a deadend job. During a kid's birthday party at this job, he has a menty B and screams that he is dying but nobody reacts. He goes to the bathroom, cuts open his chest, and finds a TV inside. He then returns to the birthday and says sorry for the outburst. The end.
The movie feels like a dream, and is beautiful to look at. The acting of the main duo is great, and obviously Jane Schoenbrun has great taste because she cast Connor O'Malley in a role, which makes me laugh every time. Even though Justice Smith is in it, and even though it isn't a perfect film- especially if something led you to believe it was a horror movie, there is nothing I would change about I Saw the TV Glow. It made me look intrinsically at myself in a way that I rarely do, especially now. Happy Pride.
Backrooms (2026)
In Backrooms (2026), Kane Parsons channels his inner Jordan Peele and asks the question on everyone's minds: what is this upstanding young black man doing tied down to a white woman?I want to preface this review by saying I am a hater, perhaps the biggest hater, of the backrooms internet phenomena- including Kane Parsons/Pixels own webseries. I think the idea of taking something like this and adding a stupid squiggly monster that isn't scary at all absolutely removes all terror that could come from a liminal space. Especially when it is unearned. But with that out of the way- I quite enjoyed the Backrooms movie! It has its issues, but the concept and realization just on the filmmaking side of it is something to be admired. The sets and monsters all being practical is just chef's kiss and I am glad a24 gave Kane so much control over the project. It probably is the best possible way to make a backrooms movie tied to his webseries. I also want to call out specifically the lead actor being fantastic in the role, he really carries a lot of the movie to me. Because unfortunately the script is where some of the faults show through.
The movie is set in 1990. Nothing about this movie feels like it's 1990. Every time they make reference to the date I am taken out of the story because it just doesn't sell that timeframe, almost comically. There's no big discrepency like a smart phone or anything- it just feels like the 90s directed by someone who wasn't born in the 90s. But that's not where the script faults come in. There's so much, I don't know, artifice in the script where people don't talk like people and then towards the end we take a big, undefined, time skip and switch perspectives and start getting payoff for stuff earlier in the movie, but also getting payoff for things that the movie skipped over setting up in the actual backrooms. Also my least favorite part of this movie was probably the async stuff that directly connects the movie to Kane's webseries- I just didn't care. But it does give a great excuse to directly callout AI.
After the movie, my sister said to me those dreaded words- "they're already working on a sequel." Which really took the wind from my sails. I think Kane Parsons has set himself up to have a good eye and good career in filmmaking and I would hate to see that talent start and stop in the backrooms. On the whole, somehow, I do recommend watching the backrooms movie.
A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge (1985)
This week I am talking about Nightmare 2, a sequel that is often labeled "the gayest horror movie of all time." And it really might be. It received mixed reviews for being a worse horror movie than Nightmare 1, but has become a cult classic since then. It's also my favorite Nightmare, or at least the one I've seen the most. But I've only seen the first three and the remake so I have not seen the unintentionally (and intentionally) bad sequels that had crazy ideas. Funnily enough, my first time watching it was with my mom and I did not get it.In Nightmare 2, a middle class family moves into the house that Nightmare 1 centered on. The teenage son of the family, Jesse, begins having horrible dreams of Freddy Krueger. But not just murderous dreams where Freddy's trying to kill him- dreams where Freddy kills everyone around him, dreams where Freddy wants to be him! The movie centers on Freddy trying to use Jesse's body to enter the real world and not just be confined to the nightmare world. Why this would be a good idea, though? I don't think anyone thought it out until Freddy VS Jason where Freddy gets his cheeks clapped in the real world. Regardless, he wants to groom Jesse to become real again. So Jesse has to fight him off, through not sleeping. But Jesse is terrible with a weak spine and weak will, and keeps falling asleep. This leads to a very gay nightmare about his coach in a BDSM club, and subsequent shower scene murder of said coach. The nightmares culminate in a pool party thrown by Jesse's... love interest? Who is a girl named Lisa. Maybe they're just friends. Regardless, the whole school is seemingly invited and Jesse is too scared of Freddy so he takes over and kills a bunch of them then leaves. Lisa finds him and confesses her love of Jess- so not friends, okay- and Jesse fights back and beats Freddy. Cut to credi- I mean cut to a bus scene with the survivors in it that harkens back to the opening scene of the movie and oops there's Freddy popping out of Jesse's chest like it's Alien.
It's kinda weird how the gayest horror movie has a hetero "love conquers all" trope at the end. But believe me, you gotta see this to understand why it's called that. And I recommend it! It's fun, it's campy, it has some neat practical effects. And if you do want to think about the subtext of the movie (not the gayness because that's not even subtext) then there is a bit to chew on. Happy Pride month.
The Tragedy of Macbeth (2021)
Shakespeare is dense to read. Shakespeare is dense to listen to. To watch, to perform even. Some guy once said you can judge an actor by how accessible he makes Shakespeare to the public. Now, I know the story beats of Macbeth. I've watched an abridged Macbeth in highschool. The Tragedy of Macbeth starring Denzel Washington, directed by Joel Coen (one of my favorite directors and not an isfake simp like this brother) is my first time watching it on film, and as an adult. And boy howdy, is it dense. I used a free trial of appletv-whatever just for it. And I should have watched it a few more times. Washington and Coen do not exactly make Macbeth accessible- the language is impossible, still- but you can watch this movie and give yourself over to it and you will understand the story.Coen's Macbeth uses a surreal style, shot in black and white with all the sets and all the outfits in black and white too. I think only one actor wears color in their costume (more on her soon). This, and the way the film is framed and shown to us, is to impart on us the visual of a dream. It is a dream story in a dream world, where the only "rules" that matter are told to us by the most unique interpretation of the Three Witches I've seen. I'm starting here because the visuals of this movie are, in my opinion, as masterpiece. It is breathtakingly beautiful even when it's obviously on a stage. This is accented by Denzel Washington's absolute powerhouse, potentially career-best performance as the titular Macbeth. You don't need to understand the words he says for him to get his message across, usually. He is imposing, charismatic, and sometimes scary. He embodies the arrogance and swordsmanship of his character well. Like, please even if you don't watch this movie, watch this scene. It's awesome. But he might not even be the best actor of this movie. Joel Coen's wife, four-time Academy Award winner Frances McDormand plays Lady Macbeth. What she brings is so layered within the performance and production that she certainly steals the show as it goes on, and the film lets her. She is the hardest piece of the puzzle for me, a pleb, to judge. And why I should have watched a few more times. Her role is a gordian knot that serves as the lynchpin to Macbeth and his tether to a "real" world.
This movie is very good and a very strong recommend from me! It's the kind of production that makes me love film and further soldiifed at least one of the Coen brothers as my favorite directors. Even from their incredible, must-watch catalog of movies, this one is surely near the top. And it being done during covid??? Constraints fostering incredible creativity. The only way I could sing more praises of it would be to watch it again and take notes- which hell, maybe this movie deserves.
Doom Patrol (2019-2023)
Doom Patrol is my favorite series that I've never finished. I love it and watched it intently as the first three seasons were released and then just... never watched the fourth and final one. I've since restarted it three times, once with my partner, and still have not made it through the second season a second time for various reasons. Someday I just need to start in season 2 and rip through it all. Anyways, 👏👏 TV Review;Doom Patrol is a comic that started in the Silver Age with the characters Robotman, Negative Man, and Elasti-Girl, and their wheelchair-bound team leader, the Chief (☝️🤓️ Doom Patrol actually came out months before X-Men, wowie). As the Silver Age of comics closed, so did the Doom Patrol who never really broke into the mainstream. It wasnt until much later in the late 80s where Grant Morrison, the psycho they are, revived the team and made them weird. Doom Patrol became really the first mainstream comic to delve into the abstract and deal with sexual & gender identity and mental health. So much so that DC banished them to the Vertigo imprint with the other less-than-canon DC comics. Doom Patrol, here, was a hit even after Morrison left, and in time they introduced DCs first transgender superhero before the 2000s came, Vertigo died, and DC tried and failed to reintegrate the Patrol multiple times with the greater canon. So where does this all put the show?
The show is firmly based in the weird 90s era. It's a miracle this show got off the ground in the heyday of superhero slop. When I recommend this, it's with the grain of salt that you will probably cringe. The series, in the first season, follows Robotman (voiced by Brendan Fraser)- a former racecar driver who was a very shitty husband and father before an accident killed his wife and basically killed him (hes just a brain in a suit), Rita Farr- they don't call her Elasti-Girl in the show, but she's a washed up like 1930s actress who came into contact with goop thats turned her body to goop that she can manipulate if she really tries, Negative Man- a secretly gay air force all-star pilot who came into contact with Negative Energy and now is a radioactive ball of death with an alien spirit inside of him, (Crazy) Jane, a girl who has many multiple personalities each with their own powers, and Cyborg, of Justice League fame, of all people. And the Chief, who is missing and is the catalyst for the misadventures of the first season. The show introduces many characters from the series' history including one of my favorite superheroes Flex Mentallo the Man of Muscle Mystery, Danny the sentient, genderqueer, teleporting street, and Dorothy, the Chief's daughter who is a central focus of second season.
Doom Patrol doesn't really care to be a normal superhero show- sure there is a plot where superpowered people do superpowered things, but most of the time they aren't really saving the world- they're saving themselves. You watch the show for the exploration of the characters alongside their wacky adenvtures, as the discovery of how to live with themselves as they are now is the main plot of the show. Things get melodramatic and weird good and weird bad and perverse and frankly, not all the attempts at comedy land and sometimes the lower budget does show through. But there's a heart to the show that is difficult to put into words. Even though one of the primary antagonists across the seasons is a horde of butts. Regardless, Doom Patrol is inventive and it strange and it is out there and it is lovely. And I should really watch the final season. Obviously, I recommend Doom Patrol.
Hokum (2026)
My sister likes watching primarily horror films in theaters. Thankfully, some good ones come out- including Hokum. Hokum is the third, and first mainstream, film by Damien McCarthy in an unofficial trilogy. If there are two things to know about this director, it's that 1. he is very Irish and B. he hates skeptics. So far each film has had some degree of folklore in them, targeted at skeptics who are non-believers. Hokum is unique in that our non-believer protagonist is kind of thrust into the prescence of the Hokum. Which is a witch, I think. This movie will undoubtedly frustrate some as, in the same way this review so far has skirted around the horror, so does the movie. Because the horror in Hokum is not the Hokum. It isn't even Jack the Jackass, who may be the scariest thing in the movie. The horror within is the atrocities people will do just to avoid responsibility. I won't spoil anything because it's a very good movie, and also because there is not much to spoil. Man gets trapped in a basement room with a Hokum and confronts many things abouut the hotel and himself. There is a lot that can be dug into, like the main character's name being Ohm has to mean something and I'm sure theres plenty of Irish gobbledygook that I just don't get. For the film itself, everything looks great, the acting is solid, and the script is pretty tight- they tell you want they want to tell you and, at that, they tell you exactly what will happen pretty early on in the movie. It's like a parable or something. Outside of one cheesey scare early on and one like, studio mandated reminder flashback at the end I didn't have any complaints during my viewing. It's definitely the best horror movie I've seen this year.This one is begging to be movie nighted, so I only recommend it to those of you who aren't gonna do a movie night with me.
Lee Cronin's The Mummy (2026)
Went to see this on a date night as my first theater feature film back in the real world at the movie theater I used to work at. There I bought a FIVE DOLLAR BOTTLE OF DASANI WATER- while this didn't matter to the movie, it did automatically set my mood to "violently shaking". The reason this movie starts with the director's name is that they really really do not want you to think this is related to The Mummy (2017) starring Tom Cruise as part of the Dark Universe, or that it is related to The Mummy (1999) starring Brendan Fraser. Which should be obvious, but in a world of remakes and legacy sequels I GUESS it makes sense. Regardless, this movie isn't as bad as the former or as lovable as the latter, landing as a dull movie with a poor script.To not get ahead of myself, I should remind you that Lee Cronin's previous film was a legacy sequel, Evil Dead Rise in 2023. Which was good! It was basically just a modern Evil Dead movie. Apparently there are two more Evil Dead movies slated and neither are directed by Lee Cronin, so this movie feels like his attempt to make another Evil Dead. Or Exorcist. Because this movie is just those two movies slammed together with mummy wrappings. I am not the person to discuss the westoidism of taking history from brown people to use as a coat of paint on your unrelated works, but you can jeer at that if you want to as well. I am just the person to talk about this mid-at-best movie. Skip the next paragraph if you don't want my immaculate synopsis of the film.
In Lee Cronin's The Mummy, a family working in Egypt has their daughter kidnapped right under their nose because they didn't sniff out her arsenal of suspicious chocolates in the bathroom. Eight years later, a lead? box and plane fall out of the sky for reasons that aren't discussed, and the lead box is revealed to house their daughter. The family takes the daughter home, and boy howdy is she fucked up. She's basically catatonic. In a scene where everyone is gathered around her, Abuelita takes her rosary and cross and says a prayer over the girl who suddenly Exorcists up, busting Abuelita's nose and flailing around and nobody thinks this was a bad sign. That night, the family discovers the girl eating scorpions in their house's maintenance halls. Soon after, the mother decides to cut the girl's nails and in a very gruesome scene this basically splits the girls skin from toe to knee and sends her into an animalistic shock where she starts driving some sharp object into the open, bloody wound. Again- is this not a bad sign? From here my recollection gets fuzzy because I could not care less. The dad finds out that the daughter's skin is actually mummy wrappings with demonic bindings phrases on it, which he learns from a Random Specialist™ that plays an Evil Dead-esque tape recording for him. The daughter goes full monster and mind controls the youngest child to... turn her into a brat, I guess? she calls her teacher a cunt, idk. Mummy girl throughs grandma out the window then reanimates her body at her funeral, Evil Dead style. She possesses the middle child too, to make him smack his head against a wall. All throughout this some police officer in Egypt discovers that the daughter was taken by a cult to bind an ancient demon into her, because they have to do that and apparently the demon-binding only lasts so long so it works better with a child. This officer meets up with the family and shows them the proof of the binding and then in a climactic shitstorm of StuffHappens, the father sacrifices himself to be demon-bound. Which works, despite not having him mummified at all? like they dont have the mystical bindings or the lead sarcophagus or anything, he just conveniently has a sarcophagus he used as storage. And then after that they go back to being a big happy family, the daughter has her skin back, the middle child doesn't have brain trauma, and the youngest daughter definitely regrew all her teeth that she pulled out earlier even though only one was still a baby tooth.
Honestly, the biggest criticisms I have are all related to the above. Though there's still some to pull out- the lead actor, who portrayed the boyfriend in my most-hated Midsommar (2019), is stiff as a board. Which sucks, because the parental connections are basically the emotional crux of the movie. Lee Cronin has a mouth obsession, I think, after seeing this and Evil Dead Rise. Lots of mouth zooms. Some seemingly reasonless. Even with that, the movie looks good and all the creepy visuals are creepy and some are genuinely gnarly. The problem is that there's basically no tension from one to the next, and the highs aren't really high enough for it to even be a rollercoaster of scares. I walked out of the theater thinking "This was fine" but after writing this, it might be worse than I thought. It's definitely the worst movie I've reviewed here (so far).
Dark City (1998)
In my quest to watch more cult movies I heard of this film that partially inspired the aesthetics of House Delaque in Necromunda, alongside inspiring many scifi films after it despite predominantly living in their shadow- which makes sense, since this movie came out only a year before The Matrix and covers similar enough themes. That and a grand conspiracy at play were all I knew going into this- and I'm glad I didn't dig deeper. To keep your experience in line with mine, I won't be spoiling much of this movie as I do recommend it.Dark City is about a man that wakes up with amnesia and a dead woman nearby. He receives an ominous phone call telling him that people are after him and he must not let them catch him. After this unfolds a story about memories being manipulated on a major scale and a city that can't fathom what happens in the shadows. Any more than that would get into spoiler territory. However, I have to talk about what I didn't like about the film because some of it is very apparent very early on. The pacing at the start is close to abysmal- things happen at breakneck pace without any time to sit or develop, such as the main character's identity not really being a mystery. I also have to mention that the climax of the movie feels very dated and cliche. It was over the top and almost unintentionally comical, and the ending afterward felt probably too over-explained. The acting is also... on the low end of okay.
With the negatives out of the way, I definitely want to mention what I like about the film- starting with the reason for the rushed setup. All of it was just leading up to reveal that something much, much bigger is at play than just a simple amnesia and stalking case. When the current case detective visits the former case detective, it really cemented how interested I was in the mystery. It felt very True Detective in the best possible way. This movie also oozes atmosphere. It's always dark and grimey and filthy, set in a constantly moving nightmare city who's architecture is equal parts Gotham and weird future art deco. The special effects are also, mostly, pretty solid especially with what they swing for in the film. It all comes together to form a very unique and genuinely cool scifi mystery movie.
Mulholland Drive (2001)
One of the Trifecta of the greatest movies ever made. Mulholland Drive tells the simple story of a young woman named Betty trying to make it in Hollywood. Unfortunately, this is David Lynch's Hollywood.Betty, immediately after moving to Mulholland Drive meets Rita, who is wounded and has amnesia and has decided to make herself at home in Betty's apartment. The story of Betty and Rita searching for the latter's true identity is interspersed with seeming non sequiturs about a film director whose wife cheats on him with Billy Ray Cyrus, and a homeless person jumpscare. The search for who Rita is leads them both to a disturbing, dreamlike state where the truth is revealed to them, and in a way to us the audience.
Much of this is left to interpretation but all the pieces to the puzzle are at our disposal. Roger Ebert wrote "There is no explanation. There may not even be a mystery." Whatever we derive from the film is correct. It is about alternate realities and the Hollywood machine and the death of the American Dream. Each time I watch Mulholland Drive, I have a different takeaway. It has not gotten old in the decade since I first saw it, and I can't imagine it getting old later.
The Swimmer (1968)
I began the year watching a few "cult classic" films I had never watched for one reason or another, and my most recent one was The Swimmer. This film is based on a short story that was only 12 pages long and may be the first instance of a film adding elements to a story that don't feel like plot contrivances.I think it is best to go into this movie knowing nothing, so I will spoil nothing except the barest synopsis: a man of apparent wealth swims in his friend's pool and decides he will swim in all of the pools between this home and his own. What unfurls through this journey is a tragic look into the American dream and the consequences of wealth. This is a hazy, dreamlike journey where you learn the deep flaws of the protagonist but cannot help to pity him by the end. All of this is bolstered by an absolutely fantastic musical score that adds so much value to the scenes. I think this movie was genuinely ahead of its time and I think more people should see it.
The Talented Mr. Ripley (1999)
This was a movie I had been meaning to watch for a few years now but I never went out of my way to do so. Recently it was free streaming, thanks Tubi, so I was able to sit down and be entranced by it. So entranced that I immediately wanted to watch it again.Matt Damon plays Tom Ripley, a chameleon of a man who basically makes a career off of playing as other people. Through one of these jobs, he meets the wealthy Mr. Greenleaf who thinks Tom went to school with his son, Dickie, and asks Tom to go to Italy to convince Dickie to come home. Tom obliges as his expenses will be covered, and he befriends Dickie- and Dickie's girlfriend- by posing as an old friend from Princeton. Through getting to know him, Tom becomes obsessed with both Dickie's extravagant lifestyle and Dickie himself. Through some great acting, you as the viewer also become accustomed to these characters before a second act twist changes the course of the rest of the movie- which I will not be spoiling here. There are a few places where I feel the movie drags a bit but overall the escapades of Tom Ripley are a great experience.
Brotherhood of the Wolf (2001)
This movie inspired the aesthetic for Bloodborne and that was my entire reason to watch it. Honestly, outside of the beginning the aesthetic was not very present throughout the movie so, in hindsight, that was a terrible reason to watch it. However, I absolutely do not regret my decision to use two and half hours of my time to watch a French 🤢 film.To start, I could only find this movie with an English dub and even though French is an abomination it goes without saying that this movie would be leagues better in its native language. That aside, this movie totally rips. It is set in the late 1700s, about a French naturalist, Grégoire, and his Mohawk tribe 'brother', Mani, being tasked by the French royal court to track down, identify, and bring back the mythical Beast of Gévaudan- which in the real world was probably a wolf but the legends of it and stories from the time basically put it on par with a werewolf and it is a very fascinating story. Throughout the hunts, Grégoire befriends a young Marquis and begins a romance with a Madame while having affairs with an Italian courtesan.
The first half is a monster hunt and the second half is a man hunt, when it is revealed that the beast has a master that it follows. I don't think the reveal of who the master is ends up being all too surprising, but the reveals surrounding it are pretty awesome and deeper than I anticipated. The movie has some flaws, like how it uses more slow-motion than a Zack Snyder movie and how Mani is severely underutilized, but it is a cool story, is visually interesting, and does have a pretty sweet aesthetic even when it's not Bloodborne- I am a sucker for the1600s to 1800s French aesthetic because of swashbuckling movies like the Three Musketeers and Count of Monte Cristo. The movie is sometimes hurt by the 90s to early 00s cheese, but in the final confrontation the villain pulls out the full "Roar Zabimaru" and it totally fucks. This movie is absolutely worth your time if you want a different action movie. It also makes me want to revisit the Mask of Zorro for some reason.
Rob Roy (1995)
In this period drama that google suggested was a swashbuckler, Rob Roy, Liam Neeson plays Scottish highlander Robert Roy MacGregor under 18th century English occupation. He lived his life and made a name for himself among the highlanders, and now just cares for his people. He decides to make enough to support them better by taking out a thousand-pound loan from the ruling Marquess that he will use to turn a profit in cattle sales. This, however, turns sour as his trust and honor are taken advantage of and lead to the misfortune of his people.I love the highlands as a setting and honestly this might be the best Liam Neeson acting I've seen (still just kinda aight tho) but the real stars are Jessica Lange who plays his wife, and Tim Roth who plays the most easily hated villain I've seen in a while. If any part of this movie takes from swashbucklers, it's him. The film almost says something about masculinity and what honor means, but it also wants to portray Rob Roy in the most legendary way possible, so it does shy away from those bigger topics, though I don't feel this takes away from the movie too much.
The movie is a little long at two hours but it keeps things moving fast enough especially past the halfway mark and it ends with a fantastically realistic sword duel. Just a few film cuts, no music, no shakey-cam. Two men- pretty sure they aren't even using stunt doubles- and their blades going at it for a few minutes. It rocks, even if it might not be bombastic enough for modern audiences. I think the subdued nature only helps sell the realism. I'm probably going to rewatch The Northman now.
a Knight of the Seven Kingdoms (TV)
My only experience with Game of Thrones was watching two or three episodes on my friends couch before a party. All I remember was shirtless Jason Momoa. After the catastrophe of the ending of the show, I decided I probably just shouldn't bother with it- and I didn't. But from the start, this intrigued me. A limited series and a very grounded story about a knight. By episode four I heard only great things and decided to give it go. Overall, I'd say it's pretty good! It's pretty cliche in what it does, and the surprises aren't too surprising- even for a non-GoT knower. Everything in the show is small-scale, grounded, and for the most part well-shot. I wish the combat wasn't as messy as it was but it's supposed to put you in Duncan's shoes so it gets a pass. I think episode four was definitely the peak, and episode five was my low. By that point you're pretty set on Ser Duncan's side, so having like half an episode dedicated to his pre-knight backstory felt unnecessary- where he started doesn't matter here. And episode six started with a, in my opinion, very unfitting musical sting and was sent to credits with Sixteen Tons by Tennessee Ford?? which almost made me laugh out loud at how goofy it was but doesn't impact the story at all. If you have around 4 hours to kill I would recommend a Knight of the Nine Kingdoms.
Heathers (1989)
Heathers is one of my trifecta of perfect movies, imperfect as it is. It's a satirical black comedy about a girl named Veronica Sawyer (Winona Ryder) who happens to be friends with (useful to) the popular group of girls, the Heathers. She meets an amazingly cringey anarchist named JD who likes to say a lot of things with no meaning and falls hard for him. With his planning, they "stage" the "suicides" of multiple popular students as pranks, in reality just straight murdering them. Blinded by JD's coolness, it takes Veronica a while to realize he's kind of messed up and needs to be stopped.Heathers is a borderline mean-spirited black comedy that hates the ideals of small-town America and really hates the sappy teen movies of the 80s. It makes light of serious topics in the most absurd manner and is always funny. With one of the (attempted) kills, JD could find nothing wrong with the Heather's life so he just takes her copy of Moby Dick and just circles the word "eskimo" because it's mysterious and he's stupid- and the school faculty also buy into it. And who could forget "I love my dead gay son!" This movie just hits all the right buttons and everything is perfect. It even steals from Lynch with a blue-light dream sequence.
I feel like if I talk about the movie I should mention the musical- it's good. My favorite songs are Our Love is God and, of course, My Dead Gay Son. If you know any younger women of loose morals they probably like the song Candy Store. I like that the musical doesn't really change all that much, just adds some fun songs to it which in some places does really halt the pacing, because it tries to give everyone their song spotlight including the very much side character Martha "Dumptruck", which I had to fast forward through.
Before ending, I should also mention there was a reboot show made for I believe Paramount+ that had like 12 episodes all filmed but only got 3 of them aired before being cancelled because it was that bad. I recommend just watching a youtube video on that trainwreck because it is impressively bad. I should have mentioned it in my "the left isn't funny" post because it is a prime example of very liberal comedy people writing something that comes off practically redpilled because of how badly they handle satire. ANYWAYS Heathers the movie is good and is my most rewatched movie and I think everyone should watch it!